Fans packed Chiefs rally, one didn’t come home; citywide trauma from shooting won’t heal quickly, grief expert says

Trauma and grief come in waves, said Mindy Corporon, foreshadowing a long road ahead for those impacted — directly and indirectly — by Wednesday’s shooting near the Kansas City Chiefs’ Super Bowl victory rally.

Mindy Corporon, Workplace Healing

Like many across the region, Corporon, co-founder of the Merriam-based nonprofit SevenDays foundation, was watching the Chiefs parade on TV when news broke of violence ripping into the mass of fans just after players on the championship team left the rally stage, she said.

“My heart sank,” Corporon said, a grief expert whose own life was reshaped by the senseless killings of her family members.

Gunfire erupted Wednesday amid a still-packed crowd that was starting to disperse from the Chiefs’ celebration. Thousands fled for safety. Families, civic leaders, and elected officials hid behind overturned tables and in Union Station restrooms. Parade-goers outside tackled one gunman to the ground and others rushed to give medical aid to shooting victims.

Two teenage suspects were in custody Thursday in the shooting that left 23 victims, ranging in age from 8 to 47. Half of the victims were younger than 16.

Lisa Lopez-Galvan, a 43-year-old mother of two from Shawnee and a DJ for KKFI radio in Midtown, was killed. A vigil was planned for 6:30 p.m. Thursday at Skywalk Memorial Park a few blocks east of the deadly shooting.

RELATED: Schools around Kansas City try to help students cope with trauma from Chiefs parade shooting

“We know too much about what comes next,” said Corporon, who began her journey with trauma in 2014 after her son, Reat Underwood, and her father, William Corporon, were murdered by a white supremacist in a shooting at the Overland Park Jewish Community Center.

SevenDays was launched in the aftermath of their deaths to overcome hate by promoting kindness and understanding through education and dialogue.

“In the early years of grief, I didn’t wear any makeup because the tears flowed so freely,” Corporon told Startland News, describing the lingering impact of gun violence. “Not that I have much control over when I tear up now; I do have more awareness of situations that could cause significant sadness, allowing me potential preparation. Situations that arise, such as the shooting and murder after the parade, one can’t be prepared for that.” 

Drone video shows chairs from the Chiefs Kingdom Champions Victory Parade arranged in “KC Strong” a day after Wednesday’s shooting; photo by Elyse Schoenig, KSHB

Reacting to the unimaginable

Those who experienced Wednesday’s violence will face the same coping challenges, she said, and while support and resources are available now, not everyone will be ready to embrace them.

“The fear, disbelief, anger and utter heartbreak during a violent act can initially be too much for our brains and hearts to feel,” said Corporon, who has channeled lessons from her experience into her startup, Workplace Healing, which specializes in helping companies address their workers’ grief-related needs. “As humans, it is normal to feel and it is normal to not feel anything until we have the capacity to process the enormity of what has transpired.”

Click here for a brief guide to taking care of yourself following a traumatic event.

Don’t be quick to judge others — or yourself — for how they might be reacting to the shooting, Corporon advised.

“If you, your family members, specifically children, and/or coworkers have a blank look about them, if they say something that seems inappropriate based on the level of violence that took place (with respect to the death of one woman and the number of humans who could have been injured or killed), or keep to themselves about this topic … give them grace and time,” she said.

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“It’s not easy to know exactly when to engage someone about the grief, sadness and fear they are holding inside, but there is a time and the location should be in the safest place available,” Corporon said.

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Mike Kelly, chairman of the Johnson County Board of Commissioners:

“Wednesday’s shootings showed us that we are all at risk to the uniquely American epidemic of gun violence. Right here in Johnson County, parents are struggling to explain these terrifying events to children. Families are praying for injured loved ones. Thousands of residents are trying to make sense of what they experienced. Whether it’s at school, the mall, or now a community parade, we live in Johnson County knowing that gun violence is a very real possibility.”

“It should not be this way.”

The Johnson County Mental Health Center is available for anyone experiencing symptoms of trauma, whether or not you were present at Wednesday’s event. Resources are available 24/7 by calling (913) 268-0156 or 988, or by texting SHARE to 741-741.

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She offered thanks to first responders everywhere, but especially those attending to victims and parade-goers Wednesday at Union Station — and emphasized that the task of tending to the wounded wasn’t finished by day’s end.

“When the feelings are available for processing, make yourself or professionals available for yourself and those for whom you care,” Corporon said. “If you have trauma informed training, put it into action. If you have Mental Health First Aid training, now is the time to be on alert. If you have access to an Employee Assistance Program, give them a call. If you have a friend who will listen to you share your story as many times as you like, take them up on this.”

A challenge in dealing with trauma: there’s no universal way people react to it.

“Some of us will want to talk about every detail of the event. Some of us will only want to listen,” she said. “Some will act as if we are ignoring that anything happened at all.”

Click here to explore Workplace Healing’s hub for articles and insights on grieving.

It’s natural to try to avoid pain, Corporon said, noting it’s ultimately a losing battle — one that can’t be won with alcohol or drugs.

“There are events, TV shows, movies and concerts that I still choose to not watch or attend,” she said. “While I live my life to the fullest, as Reat would want me too, any events with a youth choir, the Boy Scouts, talented kids on a stage, weddings, graduations … these are difficult, and I know how to avoid them or brace myself for the feelings of sadness that will find me.”

“We must feel the pain,” Corporon continued. “We must allow ourselves to feel … I have learned and know; I can guarantee that I will survive a crying episode. I no longer care if I cause a scene or embarrass someone else, because my heart is breaking at an inopportune time.”

Healing at 10 years

Corporon is approaching a decade since her family first experienced its direct violence, she said, and shootings aren’t subsiding.

“In about the third year, I recall wanting to not be so bothered by other shootings,” Corporon said. “This thought occurred when the Olathe shooting at Austin’s Bar happened on Feb. 22, 2017. My whole body was affected when I heard the news. [I went] from having energy and being ready to get some to-do items completed, to having to crawl into bed. Now, I’m much more aware that in some way, I will feel the event.”

“I purposely will listen to the news only as much as needed and then purposely not dive into it,” she continued. “I turn off the TVs, when needed. There is a numbness that overcomes me when violence happens to others whom I have no known association. I’ve learned to allow my brain and heart to process any shooting events … slowly, knowing that I will feel the sadness, once again, of losing my own people.”

“The events from 10 years ago will arrive in my dreams while sleeping and disturb my waking thoughts more often than usual. However, there is not a minute that goes by that I forget we don’t have my father and son.”

“I don’t cry as often, but when I do, it’s the same pain from 10 years ago … not a feeling anyone wants to have.”

In addition to Workplace Healing and the SevenDays foundation, Corporon has worked to use her grief to help others heal through her book, “Healing a Shattered Soul.”