Faking it ’til you make it might be why you have imposter syndrome (Holistic Hustle)

February 8, 2022  |  Kharissa Parker

Kharissa Forte, Holistic Hustle, Grace & Grind

Kharissa Forte is a writer, certified health coach, and columnist for Startland News. For more of her self-care tips on how to keep your cup full, visit graceandgrind.co.

I’m not one to get caught up in the hoop-lah of celebrity crushes, but if there’s anyone who I #WCW it’s my Pisces twin Rihanna. (I mean, come on. She’s a total boss.) As much as I love Riri, I have to admit that I don’t quite agree with everything she says. This is especially true when it comes to her response to an E! News reporter’s question last fall about how she handles insecurity.

Reporter: What do you do on those days that you don’t feel that confident?

Rihanna: I pretend.

Reporter: Fake it?

Rihanna: Yeah.

Reporter: Until you make it?

Rihanna: I mean, why not?

The video went on to become a popular soundbite on TikTok and Instagram Reels, but treating her answer as advice isn’t the best idea — especially for entrepreneurs. 

Throughout my first couple of years building a business, I learned rather quickly that faking it ’til I make it wasn’t getting me anywhere. Conversations I had with my friends on their own success journeys echoed this sentiment. If anything, faking it was leading to more stress, anxiety, and pressure to keep up. Even though we were all smart, creative, and capable in our own right, none of us felt, well, good enough. 

What we were experiencing was imposter syndrome and we weren’t alone. Studies show that up to 82 percent of people experience imposter syndrome and women are hit the hardest. According to healthline, imposter syndrome “involves feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persist despite your education, experience, and accomplishments.” 

While anything from family to culture and other factors can be causes of imposter syndrome, I definitely believe falling into the fake-it-til-you-make-it trap is one of them.

So, how do we battle the beast? Here are a few tricks that helped me.

Photo courtesy of to JESHOOTS.COM, Unsplash

Photo courtesy of to JESHOOTS.COM, Unsplash

Seek fulfillment instead of validation

Society has taught us that fame and recognition are signs of success. There’s nothing wrong with being seen or rewarded but those things can’t be the focus. You have to decide to chase purpose over praise, even when no one else gets it but you. When you’re operating in alignment with your higher self and trust in divine timing, the applause will come soon enough. Until then, reminding yourself that there’s a deeper meaning behind what you do will help you stay focused on the fact that you’re right where you’re supposed to be.

Separate who you are from what you do

Quick: Tell me about yourself without telling me about what you do. Can you do it? Do you even know who you are? Hiding behind your title (and really any role or responsibility, for that matter) is a tell-tale sign of faking it that will naturally lead to imposter syndrome — but I get it. We all have an image to maintain. The bottom line is that what you do should be a reflection of who you are, not the other way around.

Value the fact that you don’t have to be the expert

Social media puts a lot of pressure on people to identify as experts with their master courses and authoritative stances. It’s as if there’s a subconscious fear that if we dare say, “You know what? I don’t know the answer to that,” we’ll put our whole career in jeopardy. In reality, that’s simply not the case when you’re just getting started. 

Honor your humble beginnings. Being honest about what stage your business is in or what level of insight you have so far builds more credibility and trust than a fluffed-and-feathered answer ever will. When you hold grace space, you remove the pressure to perform and meet standards that you’re not equipped to handle, yet. You also open doors to expand and meet people who can help you further your growth. And all you have to do is keep it real.

The Big Aha

Faking it ‘til you make it an easy way to find yourself combatting imposter syndrome. This doesn’t have to be your story. By operating from a place of fulfillment, knowing who you are, and removing the pressure to be a know-it-all, you can kick imposter syndrome to the curb once and for all.

Fueled by her expertise as a writer, certified health coach, and local business owner, Kharissa Forte is passionate about helping entrepreneurs in Kansas City achieve their goals without sacrificing self-care. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

This commentary is possible thanks to support from the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation, a private, nonpartisan foundation that works together with communities in education and entrepreneurship to create uncommon solutions and empower people to shape their futures and be successful.

For more information, visit www.kauffman.org and connect at www.twitter.com/kauffmanfdn and www.facebook.com/kauffmanfdn

startland-tip-jar

TIP JAR

Did you enjoy this post? Show your support by becoming a member or buying us a coffee.

Tagged ,
Featured Business
    Featured Founder

      2022 Startups to Watch

        stats here

        Related Posts on Startland News

        Amy Goldman, The Brewkery, Lucky Elixir kombucha

        This KC kombucha brewer brought back North America’s most mysterious tropical fruit; the time to taste it is ripe now

        By Tommy Felts | December 11, 2021

        When the forest starts to smell like bananas, it means the pawpaws are ready for harvesting, Amy Goldman shared.  “I’d never heard of pawpaws until last year when one of our farmer friends brought us a bunch of them. We tried them in our kombucha, and it sold out so fast. It was incredible. But…

        Pastor Adrian and Vicky Roberson, KC United

        New nonprofit surprises first-ever $20K ‘changemaker’ grant winner; he already knows how he’ll invest it 

        By Tommy Felts | December 10, 2021

        Pastor Adrian Roberson was initially too stunned to speak Thursday when he was awarded a $20,000 grant for KC United — a youth sports initiative he co-founded in 2009 with his wife Vicky. But the duo already have plans for the money: spreading blessings. “I want to say, ‘Glory to God,’” Adrian Roberson shared moments after…

        Muenfua Lewis and Justin Ikerionwu, By Design

        They built a coffee table magazine to showcase Black creatives; Why this week’s issue will be By Design’s last

        By Tommy Felts | December 9, 2021

        The sixth and final issue of By Design magazine is a culmination of the work of three Black men who saw a lack of community and representation in Kansas City’s art ecosystem — and decided to create their own, shared Muenfua Lewis and Justin Ikerionwu.  “By Design has always been about going deeper and breaking…

        Dr. Marion Pierson, MO Hives KC

        For the good of the hive: KC pediatrician builds buzz with award-winning urban bee farm effort

        By Tommy Felts | December 7, 2021

        No one is more surprised by pediatrician Marion Pierson’s newfound career success as a beekeeper and advocate for urban apiaries, the Prairie Village doctor said. “I didn’t know this would happen,” Pierson said. “In fact, I’m scared of bugs. My husband asked me how I was going to start a bee farm. When I’m in…